“Nope. Not happening. Nah-ah. Woof.”
A pretty typical conversation with myself when I tried on something in my closet that didn’t fit. Not intentionally of course…
I just happened to have something in my wardrobe that looked cute, so I thought I’d wear it. Seems innocent enough until I realized how much stress I had from putting on clothes that made me feel bad about myself.
Maybe the outfit combination wasn’t ideal, but more likely than not, it just didn’t fit. Shrunk in a dryer or stretched out in a washer, the reasons don’t matter, the fact is that I would feel so ashamed of my body for something as simple as a pair of pants that hugged my thighs too much.
The problem with this is that I was unable to separate myself from the ill-fit clothes, so I just felt like if they failed, I was also a failure. Dramatic, right? But it’s true. How many times have you put something on and felt awful about yourself, or judged yourself harshly because the combo didn’t look like what you’d imagined? Same, girl. Same.
So, I decided to stop. Not all at once. Because let’s be honest, sodium-filled days will always make me puffy and start the struggle against my jeans afresh. But I started somewhere and that meant with the pieces that were causing me to spout unkind things to myself.
I pulled out everything in my closet that didn’t fit, asked myself why I held on to it, and if the answer was because it was ‘pretty’ and ‘maybe I could wear it some day’, but knew I hadn’t, it went in the bag. I went on to make a heaping pile, and shoved it all in the polka dot container and let it sit for a month. Okay, I let it sit for two months, since we’re being honest.
But for the first month, I let it remain open, so if I missed anything I could still pull it out. No surprise… turns out I didn’t need to pull anything out. The second month, the bag was sealed and sat in our kitchen ready for shipment, juuuust in case I remembered something else I needed from the bag to wear.
Nope. Not once did I take anything out after it was closed! At this point (yes, 3 months later) I actually can’t even be sure what’s in it because this elephant definitely forgot, and it’s a good thing.
But the best part? My mornings have been all the less stressful without attempts at pretty pieces that make me sad. And that’s a feeling I most definitely cherish. Body positivity is hard, especially when it involves self-reflection, but it deserves to be present in our lives, no matter how many sweaters, or how seemingly inconsequential a habit it is you have to eliminate.
It took 4 months, and 2 attempts, but spring cleaning has finally come to fruition, if not for my closet, definitely for my soul. Happy [finally] spring cleaning babes.
p.s. I used a Thred Up bag on the recommendation of a friend, but straight up donating is cool, too!